Text and photo by Johna Till Johnson
Photo edit concept by Dan Kalman
Wooden boat, Westport, Mass
Westport River, East Branch, Westport, Massachusetts
It was a sunny weekend in early autumn. The trees were just beginning to come ablaze, lit by the late morning sun playing peekaboo with fluffy clouds.
I had driven to Osprey Sea Kayak to pick up some paddles I’d ordered, and decided to celebrate with a short trip down the river. Nothing too strenuous; I’d paddle a few hours, turn around, and come back before the tide went fully out.
It was calm, just a hint of wind rippling the surface of the water. As the river unwound ahead of me, I took photo after photo: Scenic New England houses with white trim. A lone tree, a red flame against a wall of green. A cormorant on a wooden dock, sleepy in the sunlight.
For each shot, I tried to think about lighting, composition, and focus. Even as a novice photographer, I was learning to “look where the sun looks”—see what the sun touches, and shoot that.
I passed under a bridge, and there they were: Three wooden boats moored together, bobbing gently in the water. One blue, one black-and-white, and one red, all with traditional “old school” design.
With my blossoming photography skills, I knew they would make a perfect composition to capture the day. But not just yet—they were against the eastern shore of the river, and I wanted the sun in the west, to illuminate them properly.
I made a mental note to take the picture on the return trip, and continued paddling.
My thoughts drifted to Vlad, and all the years he patiently tried to teach me the very basics of kayak photography: Get close to your subject. Steady the boat so the camera will focus. And, oh yes, make sure to keep the lens wiped clean of water droplets!
Now look at me… doing all that, and planning a future shot based on composition and light. He’d have been proud.
But, of course, he was not here.
And suddenly the warm, sunlit river seemed colder, and a bit more drab.
Over the months since he died, I had sometimes felt very close to Vlad, particularly while paddling. But today, for some reason, he felt very far away. I tried talking to him in my mind, as I sometimes did: Where are you? I don’t feel you anywhere.
Like a faint echo came the response: I am with you. I am always with you. You know that!
No, I didn’t know that. What I did know was the power of wishful thinking, and how it can sometimes comfort when everything else is bleak. And I also knew that I was alone on this trip.
I kept paddling, wending my way down the river, and slowly the day began to regain its luster. I took shot after shot of reeds, trees, houses. A sandy beach where a German shepherd trotted briskly, as if on a mission, never once looking back at its trailing owner.
After circumnavigating the small island that marked the midpoint of my trip, I turned back. The sun was sinking low in the west, and I remembered the three boats. Would they still be there? Would the composition be as pretty as I’d hoped? And most importantly: Would my battery, down to its last bit of power, hold out long enough for the shot?
I swung around a curve, and there ahead of me was the little bridge. To the right, the cluster of boats. Some trick of the wind and current had lined them up perfectly, parallel with each other, with a picturesque New England house behind them. The composition had created itself; this picture was just begging me to take it.
And the battery was holding!
Get close to your subject. I paddled up to the boats, raised the camera…
And dropped it again, my eyes blurred with tears. The name of the first boat was Sea Hare.
Vlad’s WaterTribe nickname, chosen for the creatures (Aplysia) he had done his scientific research on.
I could feel Vlad laughing.
And I was laughing, too, and shouting, in between the tears. I never did get the composition… but I ran down the battery taking picture after picture of his namesake.
Vladimir Brezina (RIP) 
Johna Till Johnson
Absolutely wonderful.
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So glad you posted, Bonnie! Sorry your comment didn’t show up earlier, I was traveling and for some reason had to approve it. I am glad you liked the piece.
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Another beautiful tribute to Vlad, dear Johnna. Thanks for sharing.
Have a wonderful week,
Pit
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You too, Pit! And thanks for posting. This was a fun one to write.
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You are loved.
xx
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Thank you!
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dont know your story but it caused a tear to makes it way down my cheek, that was beautiful
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I am glad, Vickie. Thanks for reading, and posting. The short version of the story is here: https://windagainstcurrent.com/2017/01/28/in-memoriam-vladimir-brezina/
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I was taught the dead are always with us, at least the ones who love us deeply. Magic happens then.
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I have often been surprised. And yes… magic does happen! Thanks for reading, and posting.
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Thanks for sharing. I will see Sea Hare in a different light when I pass her on the water in the future.
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If I was in a bit of a daze when I got back, that was why…. They truly are beautiful boats, though. I have another round of photographs to post, when I finish processing them. Thanks again, as always, for being such hospitable hosts!
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Oh, Johna–the perfect way to run down the battery.
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:-). Except to my chagrin, I didn’t think I ended up with a usable photograph. Until Dan suggested showing it in black and white, with some creative cropping. Suddenly everything “clicked”–and I could write up the story!
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I saw the pun! So glad it worked out. It looks really great in black and white.
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What a story, Johna, this is very moving. Strange how things like this happen, isn’t it? No wonder you cried when you saw the boat’s name. The links – the earlier one was before I was on WP, but the 2014 one in Florida – I see my comment and Vlad’s reply, at the bottom. Poignant.
p.s. I hope you carry spare batteries now? I don’t know what type of camera you use, but for mine, I found these neat little pouches that slide onto your camera strap and hold a spare battery & spare SD card. Lifesavers, many times over. I hope you have something pleasant going on for Thanksgiving. Great writing!
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I actually carry spare batteries most of the time; I think I was on my second one for this trip. The problem is that I have only one charger and I can never remember to charge enough right before the trip. (Solution: buy another charger and charge them in parallel… but I can never remember to do that).
Thanksgiving: Yes, a lovely one! Here in Florida with friends, and have been paddling mangrove swamps and the Gulf… pictures to come… :-)
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Sometimes, it’s not a coincidence. I wonderful, mysterious message 💕
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Wow, sounds fabulous. Looking forward to living vicariously through you in Florida! :-)
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Florida stories and photos coming up! Also, I love your autumn photographs, Lynn! Very evocative, particularly with the mist.
You will begin to see some higher-quality shots on this blog–nothing like what you and Vlad are able to do, but at least I’ve figured out how to turn the Nikon on and the fundamentals of ISO, shutter speed, and f stop :-).
If nothing else, it raises my appreciation of others’ photography to a whole new level!!
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Thanks, Johna…autumn here is a very different animal from autumn in Florida! And please don’t make excuses for your photography – it’s fine, and we are all working at getting better. Having a good camera IS helpful, as much as people like to say it’s not the equipment, it’s the eyes behind it. Getting the basics down does take time, too!
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Bok! WE ARE LOVING THIS!!! J&A XO
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Thanks guys! Hope to see you before too long…!
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Johna I will admit I’m sitting here teary eyed and covered in goose bumps. I felt as though I was right with you in the kayak your narrative so descriptive and engaging. It seems Vlad truly is near you. You have really touched my heart. If it’s not too intrusive to say I’m sending hugs across the miles.
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Sue, thanks so much!! “Too intrusive”? No WAY! Who ever turns down a hug from a sympathetic friend? Thanks for reading, posting, and the hug!
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